A Kiss of Controversy

So, Jadavpur University has managed to rake up more controversies, yet again. This time it was the Kiss of Love protest; in solidarity with Kochi as well as a blatant, and much needed, statement against moral policing. While the #HokKolorob movement continues to trend on social media and in dinner-table conversations, the REVOLUTION has ruffled more than just a few feathers from the very onset. Over the past two days I have heard enough about the "Indian Culture" and "Decency" to last me a lifetime. But I did not sit down to write this as a means of lashing out randomly. I decided to put pen to paper so that I could address some of the major concerns that seem to be doing rounds.

First up, lets talk about Indian social code. Indian culture is not one single person's reality but it is an idea that stretches over many communities and religions. Not one person can suddenly say what Indian culture should be and shouldn't be like. As for what place love, or the public display of affection, holds in our society, I think the sensuous sculptings of the southern temples have already been cited in more than one discussion. Our current social code, isn't dependent upon the "Indian culture" but it is based on a series of judgmental Do's and Dont's. Our social code is actually a very weird combination of archaic British laws and narrow minded restrictions enforced in the name of  'culture'.
Take kissing for example. If kissing is such an 'indecent' thing to do in public, then why did the newspapers pick out only pictures of protesters involved in liplocks to publish them on the front page? There were many people who kissed on the cheek and many more who simply held hands or hugged. Why weren't those pictures published? Simple: Because a kiss is great for publicity.
Why are most films marketed on the basis of the number of kissing scenes in it? I am not just talking about Emran Hashmi's films, but any film in general. If the movie has a kissing scene in it, the scene will inevitably find itself in the trailer. If it doesn't make the trailer for some reason then the entertainment sections of every newspaper will at least run one page on the said kissing scene, analyzing it, discussing about it and making sure that the audience is well aware of  it. Even a movie like Jab Tak Hai Jaan publicized that it featured Shah Rukh Khan in a rare on-screen liplock. It also helped that the actress was Katrina Kaif.
Why? Because it garners more interest. Basically, Indians are okay if the kiss becomes a carefully thought out marketing strategy, but they are not okay with the kiss being an expression of love between two consenting individuals. Doesn't that reek of hypocrisy?
It doesn't end here. While we are at it, lets take a look at our attitude towards people who are "afflicted" with alternate sexuality; for those who are sarcasm impaired, my choice of word is beyond your comprehension. Our society is perfectly alright with watching a film like Dostana (entertaining as it is) which has gay characters and even a liplock between two men, as long as the film makes it clear that the characters are only PRETENDING to be gay. Doesn't that make you think of all the gay men (and women) who have to pretend to be straight, just so that they can get through the day without being spurned by everyone they know? Even if all the pretending kills them, the family finds comfort in knowing that their son died a straight man (albeit a fake one). Doesn't that insensitivity scare you?

Which brings me to my second point. Kissing and hugging in public and any display of affection concerns only the two people involved in it. Onlookers may find it jarring, or awkward, which is fine. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion. But just because the comfort level or intimacy that exists willingly between two individuals makes a third person uncomfortable, it can't be punished! I have heard many say, that if such display (of kissing in public) is an individual right, then the next time a boy tries to force himself upon a girl, it should also be considered well within his rights. That view, by all means, is ridiculous! Any display of affection depends on the willingness of BOTH the parties involved. People can hug/kiss in public as long as they both want to, and that should be completely acceptable; whereas a person trying to hug/kiss an unwilling person must be punished. That's the simple rule and if anyone thinks it's unfair, well, the world has been known to be a pretty unfair place.

Thirdly, and very importantly, it is said the Jadavpur University has a habit of turning everything into a sensation. Now that we have found our voice in protesting, we will protest against everything to keep seeing ourselves in the news. Again, that is not true. You wont see us protesting against the arrests made in the Sharada scam. You wont see us protesting against the banishment of a certain strongman from the ruling party. You will, however, find us protesting when a girl is refused entry into a movie theater for wearing a skirt. You will face our music when a woman is denied entry into a restaurant for being a rape survivor. You will hear the voices rising in protest whenever people are wronged and this wont be limited to one university or state or even one country. This clamoring protest will be heard, time and again, from all over the world. And these protests will continue for as long as it takes the government to truly understand WHY we are protesting. Till then, we will keep trying.
And for those people is high places who continue to sit and watch with an expression that closely resembles Mr Bean caught in a sticky situation, I would humbly show you, what we call, 'the finger'. If that offends you, I'll atone for it with a Kiss. :D :P

Rants of an Angry Student

Over the past one month, many things have been said, for and against the student movement, some people have insulted and disgraced our professors and our university nine ways to Sunday, but we have managed to persevere. While we have received overwhelming support from all quarters of the society, we still continue to face opposition from a section that believes in political suppression and thinks that constantly imposing their "discipline" on us will eventually give them a win. I can't begin to emphasize just how wrong they are!

Before I go ahead with my rant, I have to trace the events that led to the student movement for the benefit of anyone who actually reads my blog (which I am sure is very few).
It all started on 28th Aug, during the university fest held by the Arts dept. A girl was dragged into the hostel (which stands literally about 10 steps from the fest venue) and molested by 10 boys. Her male friend was beaten up. No one knew what happened, and the fest went on, undisturbed even as the girl went home and tried to deal with the trauma, all alone. The victim's father asked for the VC's cooperation in this matter, only to be told to "come back two days later" and "don't send your daughter to college for a few days" and even "I can't take responsibility of their (girls') safety" by our 'honourable' VC. We students only came to know of this entire incident three days later, and then started a movement for the safety of the women on campus. This was not the only instance of violence on campus and the students were getting tired of these repeated incidents where the perpetrators went about scot-free. The student representatives repeatedly ran into various walls, trying desperately to get anyone to listen to them, but not many did.They started a sit-in demonstration in front of the administrative building, demanding an impartial probe into the matter, only to be told by our 'honourable' VC that it was beneath his dignity to talk to students, and that he wasn't getting paid to negotiate with students. That it would hurt his pride. In spite of this blatant insult, the students persevered and the sit-in demonstration, which was utterly peaceful, stretched upto 150 hrs. Then finally, when after the EC meeting on 16th sept, the VC and the EC did not even take up the molestation issue for discussion and instead branded the agitation as the "indiscipline of students", the student finally resorted to the only thing they knew that would put some pressure on the VC. They resorted to a gherao (i.e. refused to let the VC leave his office). They demanded that the VC come out of his air conditioned office and face the students and assure them that he will look into the matter and set up an impartial panel for the probe. The VC, who is a very 'honourable' man, flatly refused to give the statement. The professors who were negotiating, finally left the admin building at 1:45 am, after promising to come back and start negotiation where they left off. As soon as the professors left, completely unharmed by the students, who were singing songs outside the building in protest, the VC called in the police and Rapid Action Force (which is called upon only in cases of communal riot) to "release" him, claiming that the students were going to kill him!
Then he turned off the lights so the students couldn't flee and had the police brutally beat them up at 2 am in the morning. Many girls in that crowd were molested, one even had her dress torn off her back. Following this police brutality, 40 students had to be hospitalized, 2 were critical and one was in a coma for two days! 37 students were arrested and taken to an undisclosed location (which later was revealed to be the police headquarters) and released on personal bonds only after the students demonstrated outside the police station.

That's when the students, after having suffered for days, been humiliated, hurt, beaten, molested and finally accused of attempted murder by the VC, started the movement against campus violence and demanded the VC's resignation. The movement started trending on social networks... #Hokkolorob, meaning 'let the voices rise'. The country suddenly woke up to this clamour and this apolitical student movement found support pouring in from every corner of the world.
Moving on from the rather tiring narration of the outrageous turn of events, I would like to put forward a few questions that have been tormenting me for days now. Ever since the news broke of this assault, the situation has been made worse by our ministers and govt who shamelessly paraded in favor of the VC, throwing their weight behind the criminal, as is becoming their trend now.

But why?
Wouldn't it have been MUCH simpler if they just fired the VC and sided with the students? They would have earned some brownie points for standing up for what's right, and God knows, they desperately need any good publicity they can get right now. But by being the egotistical idiots that they are, they decided to show their powers (of muscle flexing and idiocy) and came down hard on the students, trying to crush them in every way possible. All I can say is, by doing this the govt has ensured that they will never score any votes from 99% of the student community, ever again.
What made the governor think that this pathetic excuse of a man was fit to be made the permanent VC of JU?
If anyone figures out the answer to that one, do let me know! The Governor is also probably  playing his own game. He lets the situation go from bad to worse as he enjoys the show and then before the 2016 elections, his party swoops in with a very strong campaign, and the deliberate destruction of an university as reputed as JU becomes one of the major issues. If you want to be a saviour, then you need something to save, don't you? *sigh*

We, the students, haven't given up. One month on the students are still protesting, still sloganeering, still demonstrating and all the while being very peaceful. We may have lost some battles, which is inevitable when one is up against the entire state machinery, but we wont back down. We have seen just how low people can sink, and more importantly, we know just who those people are. The next election, we will have our sweet revenge. And for the university, we love it too much to let it slide into disintegration under this incompetent and cruel VC. We will take back JU, it belongs to us, Its our home and if we don't take the responsibility of keeping our home beautiful, then who will?

LATHIR MUKHE GAANER SHUR, DEKHIE DILO JADAVPUR!

#Hokkolorob

The Lights are still Out!

Very recently, I came across a play by Manjula Padmanabhan
called Lights Out. An extremely disturbing play, it shows a group of middle class people coming across a gang rape in progress and  doing nothing to intervene. In the first half of the play, the characters go out of their way to ignore the heinous crime; the next half, pretending that it does not concern them. In fact, one of the characters suggest that they take a picture of the crime because its not often that one comes across photos of "authentic gang rape".
As the play ends, we are informed that it is a dramatization of a real incident which occurred in Santa Cruz, Mumbai in 1982. The entire reading leaves a deep impression on the readers, but the final revelation gives you goosebumps. It suddenly makes you feel unsafe even in your own home!
This play was written 31 yrs ago. Lots of things have changed since then. But has anything really changed for women? We can all answer unanimously. NO.
We talk about empowerment, women having successful careers, women establishing their own identities, reaching the pinnacle of success in every field. But how does all this matter when a woman cannot step out of her house and feel safe? I was born and brought up in Kolkata. One would think that I know the streets, know how to commute and can do so confidently. True, but not the whole truth. For every girl that travels through the streets of this city, its an uphill battle everyday.

• You can always feel the the vulgar stares lingering on you when you walk down the road, no matter what you wear.
•  For those who wait for public transport everyday, you would think that once you get an auto-rickshaw or a bus, your troubles are over. But not for us. For girls, its just the beginning. In a crowded bus or a metro, you can always feel people leaning towards you. If you protest, they blame the crowd. Then suddenly you feel a hand brush against you, feeling you up. You try to move to some place safer but the stares and grins follow wherever you go. Finally you get off at your destination and heave a sigh of relief.
• For those who travel by auto, the nightmare is different. When you are sitting in front, some drivers move away from you, allowing you to sit comfortably, their elbows tucked in so that it doesn't make you uncomfortable. But most do the opposite. Elbows tucked out touching you inappropriately, leaning toward you every chance they get under the pretext of steering and making you want to jump out of the moving vehicle.
• Don't, even for once, think that the girls who manage to sit at the back of the autos get off easier because some passengers have the same tricks up their sleeve.

Years have gone by, mentality remains the same. When a character in the previously mentioned play suggests that they take a photo, you cant help but think about that girl in Assam who was molested on the street by 30 odd men and a TV cameraman filmed it for "breaking news".  Is this really the country we want to live in? Isn't it high time that the society changed?


Padmanabhan's Play, Harassment, Women's safety in India, Violence against women

Heart ventures, Mind considers

We are inseparable. Having grown up together, we know each other better than anyone else in this world. We have shared happiness, sorrows and memories. We are incomplete without each other. However, we are by no means like-minded. We have our differences, some of which are irreconcilable. For example, I’m free spirited, in love with the idea of love. I believe someday a guy will come and just sweep me off my feet. Our love will be perfect with just the right amount of understanding and honesty between us. I never lost faith in this even for once in the past nineteen years. She on the other hand, is very skeptical. For her everything has a downside and that is the side worth considering first. She wants to have the same dream, but is acutely aware of the fact that it is only a dream and will remain so. I tried reasoning with her but to no avail. It’s not just the matters of heart where our differences lie. We have conflicting opinions about almost everything. From waking up in the morning to finally falling asleep at night, whatever comes across us becomes a subject of intense debate between the two of us. We don’t quarrel though. We are not only well aware of our differences but also the cause of those differences. Thus both of us are justified. The problem arises when either of us has to choose the way. We are considerate towards each other, but that does not mean we appreciate each other’s dominance. She resents my idealistic nature, I resent her pessimistic one. She says I’m too caught up in my dreams and ideas to be focused and practical. I say she is too scared to even hope. Interestingly, our natures are completely interchangeable when it comes to ambitions. She wants to conquer the world (not literally of course) while I just want to lead a happy, contented life with my parents. I want to give them every luxury and happiness they ever dreamt about. This is the wish I make everyday. I throw in a request for a hot boyfriend too sometimes, I kind of deserve that. She approves of this (don’t look at me, I was surprised too!). She says it’s ok to put faith in something, to pray. It gives the person a strange kind of security. I wasn't too happy when she explained it to me this way. She took away the romance of it all.

          The bone of contention between us is probably how she takes every fantasy of mine and completely ruins it with her dry logic. I have tried talking to her, even pleading with her not to do so but she fails to see my point! I told her that she doesn't need to tell my how overtly implausible I am. Deep inside I know that already. It’s just that, I don't want to give on those hopes as they have become a part of me. They give me reason to imagine, to think of a parallel world where all those dreams came true; they allow me to have world of my own. She hates this. She keeps telling me that if I were to live in any world at all, it might as well be the real one. To imagine is but a waste of time. I remember this one time when I got really mad at her. I was talking to her about a particularly favorite book of mine. I told her I could identify with certain traits of those characters. I could see beyond the evident plot and found reason in the seemingly random turn of events and behavior of the characters. It took her but a second to negate the idea. “It’s only a story!” she said, “It only portrays the whim of the author and depicts events which in no world could be true. And the characters are just as unreal.” I hated her and was determined to prove her wrong. I, as is my nature, look more closely to the emotions of the characters. More than their actions, I like to work out the emotional reason behind it. I like to search for rationality in face of completely irrational actions and event. She, on the other hand, is characterized by very strong likes and dislikes. For her, emotions are no excuse for anything. Logic is all that matters. For her the world is pretty much black and white. There are good things and bad things, real and unreal, logical person and emotional fool; and needless to say, each time she prefers to be the former. For me, the world is grey. Well, there is silver, and then there is grey, deep and light. Every person has flaws, virtues, imperfections and good qualities, all mixed in inside them. It’s just a matter of weighing them against each other.

In spite of all there is, the differences and the support, it’s only together that we are complete. It makes me who I am.  While one can never really solve the competition between the heart and the brain, one can balance them out. Indulge a little and restrict a little, dream a little without losing touch of reality, give in a little and hold back some. After all, learning how to do that is called life.

The Year Gone By: Looking Back at 2012

World is gearing up to welcome 2013. Well, that’s good news because this means the world survived 2012. Lets face it, the Mayans probably ran out of rocks to carve their calendar in. But when you think about it, did humanity really come out unscathed this year? This year has been eventful to say the least. From a staggering increase in heinous crimes against women, to celebrating the death of a terrorist, to losing some of the greatest Indian iconic figures, we have experience one of the most dramatic years ever. As we say good bye to 2012, there are certain things that we hope to have learnt this year.

The year started with a gang rape in Park Street, Kolkata. This incident ruffled a few feathers but a bigger outrage was reserved for the CM’s “insensitive” remarks regarding the incident. This was followed by a spate of similar incidents all over the country. Not a single day passed when the newspaper did not report a rape or murder of a woman. This year very clearly, and unabashedly, showed that women are far from being safe in this country and the worst part was, the women were asked to accept that complete lack of security and live accordingly. All year various isolated incidents warned the people to take notice, take steps to prevent more such incidents but it all fell to deaf ears. Instead of taking measures to prevent the perpetrators and rapists, the women were told, “don’t invite rapists, don’t provoke the male gaze”. Then, the last straw came in the form of the most brutal rape of a 23-yr-old woman in Delhi. Her male friend who was accompanying her was beaten and tied up. Then the woman was raped by six men, beaten and then violated by an iron rod. All this happened, shockingly, inside a moving bus. While the woman faced this kind of inhuman torture, the bus roamed the streets of the capital city unchecked even though it was flagged due to several transgressions earlier that evening. The girl’s intestines became gangrenous and had to be removed. Having suffered two cardiac arrests and the infection slowly spreading throughout her body, she fought bravely for 13 days. She finally passed away on 29 Dec. This gruesome incident brought the youth to the streets in protest in Delhi and all over India. The intensity of the protest (which grew to include young, old, men women from every city) showed just how deeply this incident had affected each and everyone. Many policemen were seen trying to manage the huge crowd, and then firing tear gas shells and water canons to disperse the crowd. Had even one of these policemen or patrol cars (who are so busy dispersing protesters)  tracked down the flagged bus, this would never have happened and that girl would be safe today.

          Studies show that violence against a suppressed group increases significantly when they try to come into prominence. The racial attacks against blacks started only after slavery was abolished. The moment the blacks wanted rights to live in the same society, the white supremacists unleashed brutality upon them. When homosexuals asked for their rights to love, marry and adopt, various cases of gay-bashing (some even leading to murders) began to be reported. We have seen time and again, the dominant society or community does not want to be challenged. The moment they are asked to share the power or status they have, they become insecure and lash in a way they deem fit. That’s what is happening in India at this point. Women are no longer child rearing machines. They have a name, an identity, a status, and most of all, independence and respect. The spate of crimes against women re-establishes the same pattern.

Ajmal Kasab was finally hanged. The lone terrorist captured alive during the 60 hr siege in Mumbai in 2008, Kasab’s death sentence finally carried out. While most expressed relief that finally justice was served, some by their gruesome comment and open celebration of the death made the civilized society uneasy. I, however, had a different thought. We all remembered the spine chilling terrorist attack, but how often do we remember the unlikely heroes which this incident threw up? The brave NSG commandos and an impeccably carried out search and rescue operation, the Christian nanny Sandra, who saved the life of 2-yr-old Moshe whose parents (the Rabbi and his wife) were killed in the attack, the hotel staff who risked their own lives to save those of the guests, those who put themselves in the line of fire to prevent others from getting hurt, and the police constable Tukaram Omble who refused to let go of Kasab even after being shot multiple times.
 Life continues; denial, grief and acceptance come and go. If one has to go down that memory lane, one might as well send up a silent prayer for those heroes, the living and the dead.

This year also saw the passing away of the most legendary icons. From Dev Anand, the evergreen hero to Rajesh Khanna the original superstar. From Pt Ravi Shankar who introduced Indian classical music to the world to Yash Chopra who taught generations how beautiful love can be. These men touched millions of hearts all over the world. While Pt Ravi Shankar attracted George Harrison as his disciple, Yash Chopra has a lake named after him in Switzerland. These men brought a touch of peace, love, friendship in our hearts through their work. their departure have definitely left the world a darker place.

2012 has had its ups and downs. It has been an emotional as well as an educational year. We were forced to see and acknowledge our flaws, insecurities and mistakes. We need to learn to respect each other for who we are. We need to be resilient and strong and fight for the right causes. And most important of all, we need to learn to be human again. With that, lets welcome hopefully a happier 2013.

The little girl who refused to grow up

That’s what it is. The dream of a little girl who simply refuses to grow up! I tried reasoning with her many times, told her she’s being impractical, scolded her even, but she just wouldn't let go. Her world is very different from mine. For one, it’s perfect. She’s everything I never was, has everything I never had and does everything I’ll never have the guts to do. She’s very charming as well as outgoing and extremely courageous. She dreams of making it big someday and she’s confident she will. Her ideas make her world go round. She believes in these fantasies and lives her life around them. She has no inhibitions, is almost unknown to fear. She keeps telling me I should be more like her. But I know what I am. I’m practical. I’ve grown up and left the fairy tales behind me. I can’t be like her even if I try; then again, I don’t even want to try. I love my life. It’s far from perfect but then, nothing is perfect right?

          Her ways scare me. She’s not afraid to get hurt. She says I’m a coward. I never will have the guts to follow my dreams, or even fall in love for that matter because I’m too cautious. Sometimes I feel she’s right. I never did give these things any chance. I always thought that if someone would have the charm to sweep me off my feet, someday he would also put me down really hard. What’s the point in inviting that sort of pain? But she refuses to see my logic. She falls in love, has her heart broken, picks herself up and falls in love all over again. I think she enjoys it. I don’t know how but somehow she has her way with things and always comes out smiling no matter what. She brings out the best in all beings, sees beauty in all things. She’s like a bird with no restrains.

         

          As for me, I live in my own world. I know what’s real and what’s not. I don’t depend on fake ideas to get me through the day. Each day I work really hard, try to take on responsibilities, try to hide my flaws and live in denial about my insecurities. By the end of the day, I’m exhausted, tired of all the pretenses  That’s when she peeps into my world and gives me her hand. I take it partly out of frustration and partly out of curiosity. She guides me into her world. Suddenly I feel as if nothing can ever go wrong; like everything is right where it should be. It’s an amazing feeling, something I wasn't quite familiar with. It feels liberating to be with her. I don’t remember when exactly we became friends; only that when I asked her her name, she looked at me confused, said she didn't have any. So, I named her ‘fancy’.